Wearing These Chains

[Dear_Trent_#_9:The_Afterglow_Edition]

2005-06-02T09:14:00.000-07:00

Dear Trent,

There is no way I can go even one word more than this without mentioning your tight little hips. Those are hips I would die to steady with my hands, if you get the thrust of what I'm trying to say. After so much anticipation, seeing you in the flesh was literally climactic.

OMG, Trent, you are pretty much the hottest man ever concieved in the history of hotness, which is strange, because you're also quite diminuitive and you have a gigantic head that looks all wrinkled up at the back of your neck when your hair gets all sweaty, which reminds me of my favorite gesture of yours, which is when you rub your ripped chest with the flat of your palm in what appears to be a fit of angst, but probably really isn't. Another thing I particularly enjoy is the way you look out at all of us sweaty souls writhing before you, enjoying what I really must tell you is the torture of the truly blessed, with that piercing look on your face, your mouth open just enough to reveal sharp teeth framed in cruel, thin lips. You are so singularly lust-inspiring that sometimes I wish I had never so much as seen you, because it aches me so hard that you are always a million miles away. At one point, you looked right into my eyes with that face, and I think I might have gotten pregnant.

Obviously, the highlight of my night, and possibly my life, was when you leapt into the crowd just above me. I touched your cheek, your chest, and ran my hand down the length of your slippery, glistening arm to your hand, which, just as you regained the stage, tightened around my fingers just once, and sent electricity coursing through my very bones. Afterwards, I licked your sweat off my hands, and found one black hair stuck to my palm. I knew it was yours, so I saved it in my mouth. Maybe one day I'll have you cloned.

Afterwards, I lay on my back in the parking lot, staring up at the blackness of the night sky. I imagined that I was naked and wondered what the asphalt would feel like if I really were. Then I sucked a long, slow drag off my cigarette, blew it out completely, and reflected. Baby, it was good for me. I hope it was good for you.

Your songs rocked, too.

Love,
Dierdre

PS. I'm sorry Gabriel is a thieving little weasel and stole your microphone. I would have given it back.

[Reborn_in_Sin_Diego]

2005-06-01T12:56:00.000-07:00

So okay. I may have been a bit hasty.

I know some folks got pissed at my column commenting that Trent's recent song selection was leaving a bit to be desired, and over at Echoing the Sound and even our own comments section here some people were getting downright pissed. But I'm just now recovering from having seen nine inch nails at SOMA this past Monday and Tuesday, and I can admit it: I was wrong.

Of course, my joy at the shows may have something to do with the fact that on Monday, Trent jumped on our heads during "closer". And I was able to touch Him, in all His glory. And I was able to sing into the microphone ("You get me closer to God" and "Wearing these chains, motherfuckers!!" Let's hope they hadn't shut the mike off at that point! Would be awesome to hear that on a bootleg!) And then I was able to disconnect the microphone and stick it in my pants.

Yes, that's right. Monday night, I got Trent Reznor's microphone. And not just one he threw in the crowd. The "closer" crowd surfing microphone.

This is in addition to a setlist that covered the spectrum of his genius, from a heart-breaking "Something I Can Never Have" to perhaps the most-powerful-yet version of "The Line Begins To Blur" I've had the pleasure of hearing, booted or otherwise. It was fucking glorious, and he was a man afire. Electric. Dominant. Absolutely in control and wielding his power and fury with abandon.

I really can't come up with words to describe the impact these two shows had upon me... as such, I've decided instead to express my feelings in the medium that has always suited me best: my poetry.

your glittering gift of glistening amplitude
reflecting on 5_30_05

Shure Beta 58A
this is the power that you wield
within your hand
within your fist
(power's kiss, most seductive kiss)
it takes your fury
your anger, your heart
and makes you loud
(it makes you strong)

no, this can never be too long

the line has stretched eternal
though foe and friend
have all aligned as one
for your glory
chairs folding like our morals
and though I may be sweating
inside my vinyl cage of purity
i'll kiss the side of heaven for a taste of your
sanctity

stand above
looking down
we're slickened with sound
all your little piggies
overcome by our teeming, swaying adulation
you DIVE RIGHT IN
(right into the center of the storm)

fetal, you are lifted
up above, reborn
rebirth and the cycle
itself begins to blur
i touch your flesh
(this tiny touch of perfection)
and there is the chalice
the sceptre of your powers

i reach out and utter
my meager demonstration
("you get me closer to God?"
you are the one that's closer now)
and I scream out the name
my darkstar moniker
of
BULLSHIT
FUCKED UP
LOSE IT ALL
FIST FUCK
and then a simple push
twist and release
and the chalice comes free
down into the sea
of the love and the joy that has brought it all down upon you
oh Holy One

So I hide this treasure away
into my secret place
of lovely joys
my vinyl cage where madness lies
and spirit it away

and now i cast my gaze
a leper man healed
i once was blind, my father
But Now I See

[Mike's_Golden_Mike]

2005-06-01T10:48:00.000-07:00

So Dierdre and I spent the last couple days away from our computers and in line outside SOMA for the nine inch nails shows the last two nights.

I haven't crawled out of bed yet (writing this from my laptop) as two days of being THROUGHOUGHLY FUCKING DESTROYED has taken it's toll.

Yes, you read me right... I think I may have been a little premature with the whole "Old Man" thing. Will collect my thoughts in poem form and have a proper update up shortly.

Gabriel

[Dear_Trent_#_8]

2005-05-29T14:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Trent,

I thought I'd take this opportunity, on the eve of my communion with the holy and the divine as bodied forth by your staggering beauty and genius, to answer a few of the questions you asked on [WITH_TEETH]. I'm sorry if this gets a little randy, Trent. I'm in a wierd mood:

Why do you get all the love in the world?

Honey buns, I don't really think I do! I think you do, though, and that's because you have earned it with years of blood-letting for your art. We're not worthy, Trent. I think you know that.

Don't you fucking know what you are?

Um... your faithful slave girl? Hopelessly devoted to you? Ready to sacrifice myself in the knashing jaws of a mosh pit to be near you? Prepared to wait in line all day wearing pretty pink lipstick in the hopes that you will see me and fall madly in love? Absolutely burning to consume every inch of your nail? Stop me if I'm getting warm, ok?

Just how deep do you believe?

Well, I know you can go pretty deep, and I believe I can take it. How's that?

Can you get up off your knees?

I CAN, but I can think of at least one situation in which I wouldn't really want to... nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Will you bite the hand that feeds?

If you're asking if I would bite George W. Bush's hand, the answer is NO FUCKING WAY, because that's just gross. He probably uses his hand to hold his wang when he goes pee, and no doubt picks his nose with it, or sticks his fingers up Laura's bush when they make crazy monkey love. G.W. Bush is a fuckwit and I doubt he has good hygiene, so the answer, if he were the one feeding me, is: No, I would not.

Having said that, if you want to feed me, I'd bite you. I bet you're fucking delicious.

Is there somebody on top of me?

Honey, if you have to ask, I'd say probably not, or that you should get someone to climb up on there that wouldn't leave any doubt in your mind. I'm willing to take that bullet.

Just how far down can I go?

Well, I'm not very tall, and you only have to go about halfway down, so... not too far. Unless you have a thing for feet. Let me know, because if you do, I'd like to go ahead and get a pedicure before we see each other.

What if everything you think you know is an elaborate dream?

That would be wonderful! Maybe when I wake up next to your naked, sleeping body a few minutes from now, I'll discover that all this time I've been dreaming about being a girl who can only dream about you, just before I snuggle into your neck and breathe in the warm, sexy smell of your sweaty skin, while drifting back in my memory to our ass-slapping freak-fest passion of the night before. Then, I'll get up and make you a nice hot cup of coffee.

That would be awesome.

Love,
Dierdre

[Words_of_Misery: 5_26_05]

2005-05-26T20:57:00.000-07:00

It's been such a crazy last few days. After my last post critiquing TR's recent song selections, some of our brothers and sisters in arms over at Echoing The Sound took offense and linked over here with feelings and emotions ranging from outrage, to fury, to anger, to scorn.

I tried to keep quiet through most of it, but it really made me realize how much we all share with one another, for even in the angry tirades there were words of love. Thank you for your understanding, Busanda, and especially to you, Beavette. This poem is for you both.

the darkest side of heaven
5_26_05

trying to reach my insides
to show you how i feel
and i REACH OUT
(reach out)
until i cannot feel your gaze
only the heat of your twisted
fury and your furious
twisting heat
(what happened to all for one?)

this must be the shadow
that christ himself once spoke of
upon the battlements of faith
the shadow to which I give myself
and writhe and writhe and writhe
this must be the purgatory
the whippings and the beatings
when my only crime...

was this beating heart of broken feeling

glimmer on from blackness
glistening machine until perfection calls you home
(rumble and roar rumble and roar)
glimmer on from darkness
though neverwas
is nevermore

and the perfect face of water
is broken by the reaching hand of hope
of faith
of love
and we all stand together
in faith
in love
no matter what the enemy may try to
cast our way

there is no other way
so rumble on and rumble roar
this beating heart
this REACHING heart
this freezing heart

this beating heart of broken feeling
now.

[Dear_Trent_#_7]

2005-05-25T19:01:00.000-07:00

Dear Trent,

It's been DAYS since I've written, I know; but rest assured that I was thinking of you and feeling your presence on the earth for every minute from my last letter to now, as if an invisible string tied you to my heart. Every morning when I wake up I check for all the latest news of you, and then your tour schedule, so that I can picture where you might be, whether you're travelling, or staying over in a city. Every night before I drift off into my own dreams, I picture you sleeping and dreaming, your eyes gently closed, lips barely parted, and I say a little prayer to no one in particular that you are safe and well, breathing softly somewhere in your night.

Sometimes I try to imagine what your days are like. Do you read the paper, with a cup of coffee in the morning, or do you get all your news from the internet? Do you take millions of phone calls and e-mails, and deal with business all day long, or do you sit in thoughtful silence, with melodies running through your mind? Do you have a journal? Do you write music or words everyday? Do you sleep on a bus sometimes? Do you hang out with the guys in your band, or spend your time alone? Is everything about your tour run like a well-oiled machine, or are there little fires to put out all the time that drive you crazy?

Sometimes I think that if I were given a choice between being your lover, and being invisible -- like the angels in Wings of Desire -- so I could just watch you do everything you do, I would choose to be invisible. I'd watch you and see you as you are, completely unto yourself: your moods, your expressions, your routines, how you sleep, the way you look at yourself in the mirror, how you touch yourself -- everything you are and do when you're alone and undisturbed. If I could, I would make you the subject of my constant study, but I know you would always be a beautiful mystery to me.

Dear, dear Trent! You and I shall be together in San Diego in only 5 days, and your electric presence will course through my very bones. I can't wait. The very thought of seeing you again, in all of your raven-haired, newly-musclebound glory, makes me tingle -- and I won't specify where.

I burn for you, baby. Really I do.

Love,
Dierdre

[Dreaming_of_You]

2005-05-24T22:01:00.000-07:00

I had to rescue this dream from languishing in the comments, because the more I think about it, the more I think the whole world needs to see what I see. Wearing These Chains reader tormented_soul_3 says he's had the same dream himself, which proves that this is, in fact, a vision of Trent Reznor's very soul.

I dreamt that Trent was sleeping inside an enormous, gleaming black cocoon. He was naked and as white and waxy as the petals of a gardenia flower, his skin almost larval -- dewey and soft as a baby's, mapped with blue veins and patches of soft black hair. He was at peace, and his beauty was staggering. As he slept, his hair grew long and fast, twining around him like bluish-black snakes, and his fingernails turned to glass. When he finally emerged from the chrysalis, he spread his newly formed glorious black wings, so black that when the light hit them, they were scattered with many colors and hues. He looked down at me, and I fell to my knees under the weight of his eyes. Then, he flew straight up, through darkening clouds, and right up to heaven. His eyes were blazing with an inner fire, and he demanded an audience with God himself.

Then I woke up. I was panting and sweating, and I ached to my very core.

Love,
Dierdre

PS. Trent, I'm sorry Gabriel's such a hater.

[What’s_Up_With_Your_Crappy_Song_Selection,_Old_Man?]

2005-05-23T22:57:00.000-07:00

I’m going to go out on a limb here, people, and say something that I think everybody’s been feeling, deep down inside, but nobody wants to admit.

Trent Reznor’s a middle-aged man playing it safe.

Yeah, I know, I can hear you seeth already – so come on, bring on the hate mail. Address it to Gabriel or post it in the comments section below.

Now if you don't have a lot of things to compare NewTrent™ to, my ideas may reek of madness as you probably think Trent is "still super hard, bro!". Maybe some of you are relatively new to the Nine Inch Nails scene, or perhaps you've only been fans long enough to see the band live when the fragility tour came through your part of the world. If you’re just discovering NIN, welcome. If you were a casualty of fragility 1.0, 2.0, or fragility fucking pi, I’m sorry.

See, cause when I was 13 my brother took me to the self-destruct tour. This was something new. Perhaps you’ve seen it on closure. In it, Trent Reznor is a man possessed. Out of control, out of his mind, and let me tell you --- it was riveting and downright fucking holy to witness. And in that show he played almost every song off his new record – even the stupid ones, like “the downward spiral”. Who would've ever thought some wheezy background loop and out of tune guitar could sound good live? But it was riveting I tell you, and when the second half of that song hit, what with the manic screaming, and the “he couldn’t believe how easy it was”-ing... you were in the throes of ecstasy.

Well now it’s 2005. We have an astounding new record. And Trent’s touring again. He’s calling it live: with_teeth_2005. “Well, Gabriel!”, you must be saying, “I bet you really enjoyed Coachella, and cannot wait to hear so many great tracks from [With_Teeth] at the two shows in San Diego you’re going to! With all the new songs, those club shows will be even more powerful!”

Well sure! If the little fucking midget would play any of the new tracks! Oh, of course we get “love is not enough” and “you know what you are?”, because they’re big and loud and dumb, and we get the obvious hit single “the hand that feeds” (which is cool because of the Orlando Bloom connection), but what about the songs that make your new record great, Trent? What about “only”? What about “all the love in the world”? What about the fucking BEST SONG YOU’VE EVER WRITTEN, “right where it belongs”?

See, I guess I was under the mistaken impression that you were still a rock star. That you didn’t give a shit about what The Man thought, and that you were the guiding light of your own destiny. Well, Trent, either there was a misprint in the marketing materials and somebody forgot to mention that live: with_dentures was a Greatest Hits tour, or you’re just being a pussy.

Lemme tell you something –- we don’t need to hear “piggy” anymore! We’ve heard it already! “march of the pigs”? BORING. And your good friend “starfuckers, inc.” that you keep feeling the need to dust off almost every other night? Well I hate to be the one to break the news, but it BLOWS. It always has, and it always will. Notice how it’s one of the few songs that you co-wrote with somebody instead of masterminding all by yourself? That’s your first tip to its suckage, right there. Have some balls! Take a chance! Play the new material!!!

And what’s with this new look? There’s no vinyl, no fishnet, no rubber… none of your fucked up dirty creepiness is left. Instead it’s this buffed up, crows feeted, buff guy shit. I mean what the fuck, Trent; you look like the guy that would have beat you up in high school, not that guy that wants to get fucked by the devil in the back of his car.

I’m not saying you have to do the old routine again (though it’d be a lot cooler if you did). But if you’re going to be this new, healthy, and happy Trent (rumor is that you can even see yourself getting married and having kids these days? What the fuck, dude!) then at least sell it by playing the new songs. That’s what we want to hear anyway. Because all the old songs are coming off like Kool-Aid without the sugar added, 'cause we’ve already seen that shit done way better than you’re doing it now.

Sorry to be so critical, but I just want you to be the best you can be. Come on, man. Stop being such a bitch.

Gabriel

[Pictures_Of_You_#_2]

2005-05-23T00:29:00.000-07:00

Well, we started with one from way back when, and I was going to go that way a second time and sort of wax lyrical over the shine on Trent's rubber fisting gloves or some shit, but I decided that instead, I needed to go this way:

Now, Gabriel says Trent looks like his dad in this shot, but I've met Gabriel's dad, and I just want to say, for the record, that he's nowhere NEAR this hot, and the simple reason for that is that he is not Trent Reznor. Having said that, our man Trent is no longer kitted up as a kinky little fetish baby, like he was back in the day. Also, in this shot, he's been in court all day, and he's got a Blackberry, some birthday presents, a suit, and he's smiling. This picture touches my fucking heart, people -- just like EVERY picture of Trent -- only this one gets me for a new reason: he looks just like an ordinary guy, except hotter, because, in fact, he's Trent Reznor.

I think Trent's new Incredible Hulk-style proportions upset Gabriel a little, mostly because now Trent looks like you'd have a pretty tough time holding him down if you were looking to fuck him in the back of his car. In fact, he looks like he could take Gabriel to me. I definitely think that in that scenario, Trent would be the devil. It's probably one of those situations where you might want to be careful what you wish for, if you pick up what I'm tryin' to lay down, Gabriel (Yeah you, Pig). Also, I think lipstick might not suit him like it used to, and Gabriel really likes lipstick. He stole my Calypso red Chanel lipstick last week and still hasn't returned it. You thought I forgot about that, didn't you Nancy?

Taking the piss out of Gabriel is definitely my favorite pastime (besides looking at pictures of Trent, and dreaming about riding him like the fine stallion he is), but I think he's starting to actually get pissed at me, so I better stop. I'll just say this: Trent is 40 years old. He could probably be my dad, but if he were, I'd be feeling like a big pervert right about now.

[Understanding_Teeth_4.0]

2005-05-22T14:42:00.000-07:00

the hand that feeds

We live in scary times these days. Our political system is running crazy, kids are shooting each other in high schools, and you can't even bring your fucking lighter with you on an airplane anymore. What gives? What am I supposed to do when I take a clove break when I have a layover when flying to New Orleans, you know?

Given the harsh realities of these times, and the horrible significance some world events take these days, it's understandable that we need a rallying cry against our acting leader, and people have jumped on the first single from [With_Teeth] to serve that purpose.

While I agree that the song can be interpreted to be about political stuff if you look for it -- Trent himself has been so amused that everybody thought it was a political diatribe that at the last couple shows he's dedicated the song to "George W. Fuckin' Bush"! And people say Trent doesn't pay attention to his fans!! -- I think the truth about the hand that feeds is something much different (and even more powerful!):

Yep, that's right. The single is very obviously about Trent's passion and dedication to the work of actor Orlando Bloom -- I'd even go so far as to say that Trent feels like he is Orlando sometimes.

I admit cracking the "hand" code wasn't easy at first -- I'd heard so many people talking about "politics, politics, politics" that I wasn't able to get this rather obvious interpretation out of my brain. But we all know that Trent is much deeper than that, and finally in the second verse I realized what he was talking about: "What if this whole crusade's a charade / And behind it all there's a price to be paid."

"The Crusade" he's referring to is obviously Orlando's new movie Kingdom of Heaven, which is about the Holy Crusades themselves! (You might remember that Trent references this movie earlier in the album, on all the love in the world). The "price to be paid" would therefore be the price for the movie ticket that Trent will have to pay to go see the movie when it comes out -- I'm sure living in L.A., and being a super-famous rock star, he could get to go to all kinds of free screenings, but since he's on tour he probably has to pay like everybody else.

So now that we know what the song's about, the rest starts making a lot more sense -- the first verse is all about Orlando's performance as the elf Legolas in the Lord of the Rings movies. "You're keeping in step in the line / Got your chin held high and you feel just fine" describes the journey that he took with Aragorn and Gimli as they crossed Middle-Earth; Legolas always walked with his shoulders squared and straight, and his chin held high looking out at the horizon. "Because you do what you're told" is for all the times that he let Aragorn lead them -- because Aragorn was obviously the King that was going to return in the third movie. And the bit about his heart feeling black and cold inside is the conundrum of all the elves -- they're remote and detached, without emotion -- but during the LOTR movies Orlando's amazing performance made us feel that Legolas learned to be friends and open up inside so his hard would be warm and white instead! Or grey, at the very least.

So what was the other movie that came out with Orlando Bloom recently? Troy, which was a kinda shitty adaptation of some really old book that I was supposed to read in high school but never did. Anyway, Brad Pitt is all buff and cool in this movie, but the best part is Orlando who, as Paris, has to fight the husband of the man who's wife he stole (because Orlando was way hawter than the fat guy that was married to Helen in the first place). Well Orlando's brother offers to get him out of the fight, but Orlando won't do it -- he needs to be a man! He'd rather give up everything he has than be a coward; this is how he "bites the hand that feeds!"

Well the fight doesn't go well -- he does bleed, and end up on his knees, and he's sorta brave enough to see... and right at the end he's about to get killed and decides that he wants to change it. Well you can see the movie and find out the rest from there, but I think it was totally clever of Trent to talk about the movie in the chorus like this. Most people won't even know what you're talking about when you bring it up, so it's sort of like a secret code or handshake: If you know what "biting the hand that feeds" really means, you're in the club!

"Well what about Pirates of the Caribbean, Gabriel?" you may be asking. "That movie was super cool, with the sword fighting and everything, and Orlando was super hawt in that one too! Doesn't Trent like pirate movies?" Of course he does; you just have to listen!

"So naive to keep holding on to what I want to believe / And I can see but I keep holding on and on and on and on." Now, if you remember, in Pirates Orlando's character was the son of a famous super-badass pirate, but Orlando didn't know this until halfway through the movie. When he found out, he was upset and rejected the idea, because he wanted to be an honorable man who fought on the right side of the law (even if the right side was a bunch of wusses). This is what the bridge is about -- Orlando's naive to think that being a pirate is so bad, when he's obviously so good at it, and gets to hang out with Johnny Depp (I mean come on, Johnny introduced NIN at the 1999 MTV VMAs when they played "the fragile"). How can being a pirate be bad when you've got that stuff going for you!

Fortunately, we all know that Orlando decided being a pirate was the right way to go in the end -- and I think that's what Trent is trying to tell us too. Orlando knows what he's doing!

Explore The_Understanding_Teeth_Collection!

[Goth/Emo_Rules]

2005-05-21T18:12:00.000-07:00

At last! Something that whiney bitches and vampires can listen to together! Gabriel may disagree, because he and his band, L'orangerie Stank, are pretty frickin' serious about this shit, but I think this is about the funniest website ever. Anyway, I'm all about cheesing Gabriel off.

Doesn't Trent look pretty on our website wallpaper? Man, he is a hottie.

[Sith_Teeth]

2005-05-20T17:04:00.000-07:00

I have to apologize for the lack of posting the last couple days -- I just got back to San Diego last night from a seminal experience of the most singular culture significance (you know; sorta like how it will be the first time Trent Reznor finally plays "Only" live). Yes, that's right; I'm talking about Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

I went up to Los Angeles to meet up with some friends from the clubbing days at Sin-A-Matic and saw the movie at the Mann Village theatre in Westwood (what, you thought I was going to go hang with those freaks that have been hanging outside Mann's Chinese, only to discover a month in that they had to move down the street to a different theatre? Jedi, please).

Regardless, it was an day/afternoon/evening of drinking/fun/freakery, which bore witness to the falling of one man's soul... and the birth of The Ultimate Darkess In the Universe. I've posted some photos below -- we've got some biker scouts, some Jedi dudes, a Greedo and Greedette (also known as members of the Rodian race, for you non-Star Wars folks).

Now you might be asking -- What The Cock, Gabriel? Star Wars has nothing to do with Nine Inch Nails whatsoever, save for a general prediliction towards whining and pouting (is "Hey God, you owe me a great big apology" really all that far from "I want to go to Toschi Station to pick up some power converters"? I think not.)

Well to those of you who fail to understand the link, all I can say is: WRONG. Strong it is, the connection here. In fact, I'd say it's pretty fucking obvious: If you don't listen to Nine Inch Nails, you will kill everyone you love and plunge the Universe into 30 years of darkness.

Now I know what you're thinking -- "Man, why didn't Lucas have the creatures in Jabba's Palace singing and dancing 'Sin'. That would've been badass!" -- and I agree. But that's beside the point. In the new movie Revenge of the Sith, we've got this Anakin Skywalker guy. He's talented, he really likes this girl, but he's insecure and doubts himself. Sound familiar? Well other than sounding like Trent Reznor himself, that describes just about everybody that reads this board, listens to Nine Inch Nails, or puts metal through their nipples. Well, except for maybe the "is talented" part. But I digress.

Anakin's got all the stuff going for him, but he misses his dead mom. He's got no dad. His home is far, far away, on some crappy sand planet. And he's hanging out with all these uptight dudes that have got either wierd beards or green skin or funky heads or really obvious breast implants going on, waving around glowing, colored phallic replacements. Yes, the lightsaber is a big penis. And the kid's conflicted! Who wouldn't be? I remember in high school, when I was around people with strange beards and wierd skin and bad implants, and the people I knew were really into holding onto penises -- I didn't know what to do! I didn't feel like anybody understood me.

That's when I first heard the music of Trent Reznor. And it made me the person I am today.

But Anakin can't hear the music of Trent, because he lives "a long time ago in a galaxy far far away." And though they've got robots that can do all kinds of wicked shit and fight and jump around, they can't go forward in time to discover the only good music ever made, which is the music of the 1990's in America.

So guess what happens? Yep -- a creepy, pasty old man who likes to touch Anakin and pat him and generate lots of physical contact eventually starts making him think "bad" or "dirty" thoughts... Anakin's hair gets all long and greasy (which is cool), but he combs it in this really tarded un-gothemo mullet (which is lame). He gets some stupid scar, doesn't wear any makeup even though it would make his sunken eyes look hawt, and every time he talks about his emotions, it's with some bullshit 3rd Grade poetry romanticism shit that makes you want to laugh out loud and then cry.

Of course, then Anakin kills all his comrades -- even little kids -- and burns down the Universe. And that's just fucked up.

This is why Trent's music is important. Because if you don't get to hear it, you'll become some vaguely sexually twisted twenty-something dressed in black with a penchant for bad poetry and affected hairstyles. And people like that are fucking LAME.

-Gabriel

The Mann Village in Westwood, in all its dusky glory. No, we weren't there to see XXX: State of the Union.

This guy was singing across the street from the line. He didn't know "All the Love in the World" cause he sucked.

This was there. Where the hell was the TeethMobile????

Yep.

I hate it when my TIE Fighter breaks down too. Makes the morning commute a BITCH.

You know it's bad when even the guy dressed up in full biker scout armor is embarassed.

Who slapped a ho first, Greedo or Solo?

These kids were pretty cool. Though I hear The Briggs suck.

Darth Maul there was breaking a branch of a tree to fashion a lightsaber so he "could get on TV." Yeah.

The first piece of the marquee is unloaded from the truck.

Sith is a cool looking word.

[Dear_Trent_#_6]

2005-05-20T06:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Trent,

I hope you had a good birthday, even if you did have to be in court staring at that betraying, back-stabbing bastard, John Malm. I can't even express in words of the English language how much I would be happy to kick that guy right in the nuts for what he did to you. I would wear steel-toed boots, and I'd throw in a couple of sharp jabs to the shins and then stomp on his toes, too, just for good measure. Having said that, dear Trent, even if you didn't have any money, you'd still be the only man for me. I would love you if you lived in a boxcar and your US tour was of trainyards, playing air-guitar for hobos on an old broom. If that was the case, then I would put on my hobo costume and follow, and we could make crazy, monkey love on a pile of straw to the rocking and rolling of the endless railway.

Still, I hope you clean the floor with that dickhead.

I saw pictures of you coming out of the courthouse in Manhattan, and even though Gabriel says you look like his dad -- which, seriously, is just RUDE -- I thought you looked real handsome in your suit. If I had been in New York, I would have brought you a birthday present, and I know that when I was giving it to you, you would have looked into my eyes and seen your destiny.

Love,
Dierdre

[Pictures_Of_You_#_1]

2005-05-18T22:52:00.000-07:00

Trent lovers, it's time for a little trip down memory lane with some of the choicest, sexiest pictures of Trent Reznor ever taken. Just consider this a museum, and me your docent as I take you on a tour of all the nicest parts of hell... er... I mean TRENT.

We're starting right here:

As you can see, this one is from way, way back in the day, probably before I was born. LOL! Trent has that saucy little dreadlocked hairdo, a slinky little rig, and the natural ability to pose like a Vargas Girl. Aw. He's so cute here! Back then, he was probably enjoying a good spanking or two with sweet naivete, and considering getting his private area pierced. That glimpse of nipple drives me mad!

I wonder if he was working this look when he sang that "OH GOD... What's comin' to me..." part in "Maybe Just Once". That song just tears me up inside.

[Understanding_Teeth_3.0]

2005-05-17T21:46:00.000-07:00

when you open your mouth wide and try to take it all, you are…

the collector

Well things are certainly different than they were back in the days of The Downward Spiral. No vinyl, no rubber, no cutting-off-the-tip-of- Robin-Finck's-finger-and-acting-like-everyone's-a-dick-for-having-a- problem-with-it. And the record sounds different too; this isn't the introspective Trent Reznor talking about all of his problems that we're used to -- this is a guy writing about people in all different walks of life, people we can all relate to. Like God, or Transvestites, or fluffers with herpes.

Yes, the third track of a Nine Inch Nails record is always an ass-kicker, and "the collector" is no exception. The drums start pumping their herky-jerky rhythm and the booty-shake bass kicks in as Trent begins this tale of a sex worker's life gone awry. "I pick things up, I am a collector. And things, well things they tend to accumulate." Wow, powerful! I know my first thoughts were:

a) How does Trent know my friend Veronica?
b) How does Trent know how easy Veronica is?
c) How does Trent know about all the below-the-belt diseases Veronica's been (shall we say it?) collecting lately.

I know you might be thinking the same things -- how does Trent know my friend/girlfriend/sister/boyfriend -- but it turns out that he's singing this tune about somebody else, as we soon find out.

"I have this net, it drags behind me."

Now before you start wondering why Nine Inch Nails is writing songs about fisherman, take it from me that you can relax -- this is just Trent's use of metaphor. This literary device is used quite often by sophisticated artists like Trent Reznor all the time. For example, if I was writing a poem and wanted to describe that I was feeling all pissed off an angry, I might say that I was a "washing machine on spin of emotion". It shows the reader or audience what you mean without saying something boring like "Alex is a dick and I'm mad at him." You get the idea.

Anyway, Trent doesn't mean a real net here; he's just talking about picking up bits of baggage along the way. Baggage from what? Well it all becomes clear when he reveals that the song is about a fluffer in the porn industry with the line: "And it picks up feelings for me to feed upon." Damn. "Feeding on feelings" is such an obvious euphimism for sex, I was a little surpised at Trent, because he's usually a lot more subtle than that. Plus, I was saying I wanted to "share my feelings" with people to get them into bed back in like high school, and Trent just turned 40. He should have better pick-up lines than that.

But in good dramatic fashion, after the character is established we're plunged into the HELL of her world! "There are times, plenty of times I wish I could let it go!" I bet; no matter how good the pay, who would want to walk around performing fellatio all day long? I mean, a little bit I'm sure would be cool, but all day? No thanks. "But they make me start to think, Things I don't want to know." Yep, there's trouble in this penis paradise; it seems she may have picked up a case or two of something.

Then the chorus busts in, with the guitars buzzing and Trent belts out the feel-good oral sex sing-along of the summer: "I'm trying to fit it all inside / I'm trying to open my mouth wide / I'm trying not to choke..." And people think Trent Reznor is straight? I think we can now all agree he's totally bi-, and I think that makes his music even more powerful. Especially when he tries to "Swallow it all swallow it all swallow it all swallow it all!"

Unfortunately, though we're all excited by how good Trent was at the oral sex singing part, The Collector herself isn't doing so good: "I am the plague, I am the swarm." Yep, it's herpes all right. And not that I'd know about that or anything, but I've heard that totally sucks. Especially if you have an oral outbreak. "All your hurt sticks on me, and I keep it warm..." Now here Trent's just getting disgusting. I mean, maybe they were watching a lot of bukake videos in New Orleans when they were recording the record, or that's what being a rock star for 10 years does to you, but this was just in bad taste. Of course, now that I think about it, maybe he was just talking about how The Collector was hitting a low point or something -- kinda like in Boogie Nights, when Heather Graham gets all jacked up after they're trying to do that reality TV porno show in the limo and the guy from her high school is in there with them? Even though it's totally awesome when she beats the guy up, maybe this is sort of like that. I don't know.

So after she's been diagnosed with several STDs, the Collector decides she wants to get out of the business, because what fun is it at this point, right? But "They make me stay / They won't let me leave / There are so Goddamned many of them / It gets hard to breathe". I mean, with all those men that she has to service, I'm sure all those genitals really do make it hard to breathe. And I'm proud of Trent for shedding light on this problem.

But just like a good M. Night Shyamalan movie, Trent's got something up his sleeve this time! There's more singing about opening up wide, and trying not to choke again, but then Trent twists it around and says "I am a good boy and I will swallow it all!" Yes, that's right! Our fluffer -- The Collector herself -- is the Transvestite from "you know what you are?"!!!!!

And then the song's over -- there's a couple lines about "every last one, every last one", but this is obviously Trent just talking about performing fellatio more, so I figure there's not any reason to really go into that. And he just leaves our poor transsexual sex-industry fluffer with herpes, as he moves on to the next song. Because sometimes the world is a harsh place that leaves you on your knees with an open sore on your lip and a penis in your face.

And yes, the next song is where he talkes about biting the hand that feeds. Coincidence? Yeah, right. Trent Reznor doesn't know the meaning of the word.

Explore The_Understanding_Teeth_Collection!

[Happy_Birthday_Sexy_Baby]

2005-05-16T20:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Trent,

I know it isn't until tomorrow morning at 7:30am Mercer, Pennsylvania time, but I couldn't wait to send you all my love. I sincerely hope you get everything that's coming to you on your birthday.

Give me a holler anytime, baby. I'm just WAITING to make all your dreams come true.

Love,
Dierdre

[Dear_Trent_#_5]

2005-05-16T18:04:00.000-07:00

Dear Trent,

I'm sorry I haven't written much in the past couple of days. Things have been a little rough around the house with Gabriel. Sometimes he is such a little fairy. I think he needs to just come out of the closet, already. You might think it's mean to go public with this like I am, but I really think he needs help. I'm just being cruel to be kind.

Oh well. When things get rough, I just go into my room and listen to all your saddest songs, and cry and cry and cry about how you must've felt when you sang them. My poor love, I'm sorry you've had to suffer so much pain in your life. You're so beautiful and perfect, so it must be that you're just too good for this world, and that's probably why you can never get what's coming to you. Sometimes I want things I can never have, too. It's hard to keep holding onto your dreams sometimes, but I know you can do it, my darling.

Last night, Gabriel and I watched Closure together (during a rare moment of fucking peace) and I have to tell you, I had forgotten how bewilderingly sexy it is in the live video for "Hurt" when you reach into your pants and touch yourself. Baby, that was so hot I couldn't look at it without a shiver of desire. All I can think about is your hands, your black hair, and all that sweat. You are so delicious that if I were there, I would have licked every drop of sweat off you, and then I would have punished you like the dirty boy you are for touching yourself in public.

I love you,
Dierdre

[Understanding_Teeth_2.0]

2005-05-16T16:15:00.000-07:00

you know what you are?

Well after Trent's told us a little bit about what a lonely, sad life God's leading these days, you're probably wondering what he next has up his sleeve. Well lucky for you [With_Teeth] is a fast moving album, and track two comes hard and heavy. You Know What You Are? continues Trent’s new method of songwriting, but instead of looking at The Allmighty, Trent goes back to his taboo, fetish-y roots, this time looking at what it’s like to be a cross-dresser in America today.

“I tried to stick myself though try to get to the other side / I had to patch up the cracks and the holes that I had to hide.” These lines are easily some of the deepest on the record, if only for the many different meanings that they can have depending on how you look at it. On first glance, you might think Trent’s just talking about conformity, or falling apart as a person, but if you think carefully, it’s pretty clear that “sticking himself through” is referring to tucking his private parts behind his legs, so he can get to the “other side” (looking like a woman). The cracks and the holes (though I know you probably have some perverted takes on those words, Rory! LOL) are the parts of him that don’t really feel like a woman, so he has to add things to himself (patching) or cover up that parts are missing (holes he had to hide).

Then Trent tells us that “for a little bit of time (he) even made it work okay” – and it seems like everything’s going to be fine for our little pre-op lad. But then we find out it was really “just long enough to really make it hurt”, and “when you figured me out and it all just rotted away.”

Obviously the Transvestite has started dating somebody, and just like in the freaky movie The Crying Game they started getting busy, and somebody found a little surprise they weren’t expecting. So the Transvestite is standing there, his junk hanging out, while the guy they were making out with is looking at them and starts to scream “Don’t you fucking know what you are? Don’t you fucking know what you are? Don’t you fucking know what you are? Go on get back to where you belong!”

I think these words will sound very familiar to anybody that has a cross-dressing friend that got drunk and made out with a guy who wasn’t so cool with the fact that what they’d thought was a slightly-ugly Extreme Makeover contestant that was going to bone them was actually a dude. “Get back to where you belong.” These words sting.

So now the Transvestite gets mad, and starts shouting back – “You better take a good look cause I’m full of shit / With every bit of my heart I tried to believe in it.” Because who’s going to live all their life and go to all the trouble and work that acting like a woman all the time requires unless they really want to be a woman, you know? That shit's not easy. Hell, sometimes at band practice if we get really drunk we'll do the tuck thing because we think it's funny, and even just that part of it is hard.

So the argument continues as the Dude Who Got Duped yells back at the cross-dresser -- "You can dress it up, you can try to pretend / But you can't change anything in the end." A pretty dress and a push up bra don't make you a woman, you know? Now, granted, maybe if you get surgery and had certain things removed and certain things added then you sorta could change things in the end, but that's a much longer song than we have time for here. Remember, as Trent said [With_Teeth] is "twelve hard punches to the face." Plus one more, apparently, because there are 13 songs on the record. Or maybe the last one isn't really a punch. I don't know.

Then the music gets really crazy with lots of drums that sound a lot like that Guns N' Roses song from the Terminator movie, with wierd scratch computer noises and guitars groaning. I think this might supposed to be the musical sounds of sex, but I'm not sure. If it is, it's kinda disturbing, and I guess they won't put the song on the radio, but if it is meant to be the musical sounds of sex, well then it's the best darn musical sounds of transvestite sex that I've ever heard.

"Remember where you came from, remember what you are" Trent whispers in this part, sounding all creepy until he gets REALLY REALLY LOUD and SCREAMS IT! I like this part, because it gets really hard and intense, and when I'm driving in my Civic it makes the speakers really go baoooooooooohhhhhmmmmmmm. Then it's back into the chorus, and everybody's screaming "Don't you fucking know what you are!", and this time, I bet it's both the dude and the Transvestite screaming it. Because maybe during the musical sex part, the Dude realized that maybe he kinda liked it a little bit.

The end part only makes this more powerful, as it gets quiet except for one big booming bass part, and Trent's little piano riff. It sounds doomy as hell, but peaceful too. Sort of like I do after I've had sex.

So we've got a song about God having a bad day and about a spat between a Transvestite and their heterosexual lover. And people are saying [With_Teeth] is more of the same old same old! They don't know anything!!!

Explore The_Understanding_Teeth_Collection!

[Trent_Vs_Trent]

2005-05-15T22:13:00.000-07:00

I hear a lot of people asking "Who's better? Old Trent? Or, new Trent, WITH TEETH?"

Seriously, people are so lame. Firstly, he's always had teeth, and second, obviously, new Trent, with his good skin and hot new rig is WAY BETTER. The only thing that kinda bums me out is how he doesn't wear fishnets, leather hotpants, and black rubber gloves any more. That was hot. And lipstick. I like him in lipstick. Remember that time he wore pretty pink lipstick for that "March of the Pigs" video? I like that. I'm not sure if all that would look good with his huge muscles, though.

Wait! WHO AM I KIDDING?! Nothing looks bad on Trent! HE'S TRENT "FUCKING HOT" REZNOR, you bitchy haters.

Here endeth the lesson.

[Understanding_Teeth_1.0]

2005-05-14T18:17:00.000-07:00

So here at Wearing These Chains, it's become pretty clear over the last couple weeks to both myself and the other person whose-name-I'm-not-going-to-mention-because-she's-being-shitty that though everybody is totally loving how awesome the new nine inch nails album [With_Teeth] is, some people are confused about what stuff means on the record. "Is this song about Trent's girlfriend", we've been hearing, or "I'm confused. What's in that net Trent's talking about in 'the collector'?"

In order to help, we're going to be going through the album and explain what's being talked about, so you can better enjoy your experience of listening to the new NIN record. (We also recommend downloading the official PDF with lyrics and artwork from the official website -- but you'll need your store bought CD to get it!)

But without further adieu, here's the first installment of Understanding Teeth.

all the love in the world

We all know how many problems Trent has had with God over the years -- going all the way back to "Terrible Lie". He even says "God is Dead" in the song "Heresy" from The Downward Spiral (read up on Friedrich Nietzsche if you want to know more about God being dead). You might think that this new record is the first time that Trent hasn't talked about God on one of his albums -- you'd be wrong. "All the Love in The World" is a song written about God himself!!!

The song starts with "Watching all the insects march along, seem to know just right where they belong." This is Trent describing what it's like for God up in Heaven, looking down at everybody on Earth. We're small and teeny like insects, but we seem to have a purpose. And God's jealous. "Smears of face reflecting in the chrome, hiding in the crowd I'm all alone" is yes, you guessed it, people looking at a crucifix, and seeing the reflection of God in it. But He's really just hanging out on Earth, looking at all of us people, feeling lonely because just like us he can feel lonely and sad sometimes too (Man was made in the Lord's image, remember?)

Next up God talks a little bit about how things aren't going so good in the world today -- "No one's heard a single word I've said, they don't sound as good outside my head." Given holy wars and molestation in the church, I can see why He's feeling that way. "Looks as though the past is here to stay I've become a million miles away" is obviously comparing todays situations in the Middle East (terrorists, Jerusalem, etc.) with the holy war Crusades of old (they talk about this a little in the new Orlando Bloom movie, but other than that the movie sucks. Don't go see it).

Then Trent jumps in for the chorus, looking at God and wondering "Why do you get all the love in the world?" Because seriously God -- You're having as bad a time as everybody else; why do You get all the worship and fame? Even the piano part there sounds like something you might hear at Church.

"All the jagged edges disappear, Colors all look brighter when you're near." I'm not sure what this part means, but I think it might be related to Joseph, who according to this piece of work I was in in high school had a coat made with many different colored pieces of cloth (that all look brighter when you're near, perhaps?) Of course, "All the stars afire in the sky, Sometimes I get so lonely I could", the lyrics that follow, are all about the birth of Jesus (or "the birth of Jesus" as we're told it happened). A big bright fire in the sky that they called The Star of Bethlehem lit up the night sky, and God's son was born, so God wouldn't be lonely anymore. To take a figure like God, and make Him feel the same loneliness and sadness that we all do is totally brilliant, I think, and it makes the song even more powerful.

Then everything changes, and the music becomes a big piano jammy jam, with Trent singing in a multitude of different harmonies and voices "Why do you get all the love in the world?" The music is upbeat, and hand-clapping; it sounds, in fact, like a Baptist revival. Is this a coincidence? I don't think so.

So does this mean that Trent Reznor suddenly loves God? I don't think so -- I think if anything it just means that he's saying, "Hey, God's a person too. He's going to have a hard time. We're all in the same boat. And you shouldn't make anybody better than anybody else, or think that they're better than you, because we're all the same."

That's what the song means to me -- I hope it means something to you too!

Explore The_Understanding_Teeth_Collection!

[Dear_Trent_#_4]

2005-05-14T13:40:00.001-07:00

Dear Trent,

Sometimes, when I'm alone in my room in the dark of night, I picture you in my mind, your black hair a wet tangle of serpents on your brow, and your hazel eyes blazing green with the urgency of desire. In my night, you are pale, gleaming and blue as a cold flame. Your heavy hands are rough, and your body is mapped with quivering nerves. When you're on your knees as my supplicant and slave, I pull your hair, and make you use your teeth. The haters can never understand my love, but I don't care. I know you can feel it, even if you don't know where I am, and you're a million miles away.

I'm miserable today. The world seems full of nothing but assaults on my delicate sensibilities. Gabriel is all tore up again about a boy he won't admit he wants to fuck, and all he does is sit in his room scribbling in his diary like a teenage girl. I think he's been crying, and I think he hates me because I slept with his prince charming. He's probably going to hate me for writing this, but I don't care.

If you were here, I know you'd be able to distract me from it all somehow, my darling. I dream only of you.

Love,
Dierdre

[We're_Number_Won]

2005-05-12T21:56:00.000-07:00

It's been six years since Trent Reznor released his last record, the double-album epic art masterpiece known as The Fragile. This record debuted at Number One. The year was 1999.

Last week, on Tuesday May 3rd, Trent released nine inch nails's newest masterpiece, the hard-core titled [With_Teeth]. Today Billboard magazine released the sales results from this past week. And guess what?

We came out on top.

So for all those people out there, the haters and the fakers -- the Linkin Parkers, the Backstreet Boysers, the Britney Spears fans (yeah, there's a real artist, getting pregnant with her wanna be hip-hop slut husband -- she going to have somebody write a song about that? She can call it "See I Am Just As Dumb As You Always Thought I Was") -- you can just take all your bullshit and chuck it. Because Bruce Springsteen and his boring "I'm old and this is my guitar" music aren't number one, neither is your Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith soundtrack (though I'm going to go see that movie with Veronica and Dierdre on Wednesday night and it looks hawt and I heard Anakin kills a bunch of little kids in it which is cool).

So many people have been saying Trent couldn't sell records anymore, or that he was past his prime, but everyone now knows the truth: NIN is the BEST. And if you don't believe it, just look at the record sales.

the never-believers
words by Gabriel

you never believed
no you never believed
cause you hate and you seethe
and you never believed
now you will, now you'll see
and the truth is set free

it's the Teeth and it bites
beware, it's a fright
and now -- too late!
you've sealed your fate
and you'll never know now

no, never know now

you can worship at the altar
the golden feet of halter
tops and short skirts
but we'll never obey
push the bullshit away
you fucking pigs
you motherfucking pigs

watch us walk away
we hold the future

and not your lies

[Dear_Trent_#_3]

2005-05-12T09:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Trent,

Some people just don't understand our love. When I first saw you in those rubber gloves and chains in the "Closer" video, I knew it was fated to be. I was only a little girl then, but something burned inside, even though I knew not what. Ever since then, I've been saving myself for you. Oh no, honey, I haven't been celibate! A girl has to get a little practice! What I mean is, I've saved all my LOVE for you, the glorious dark angel of my heart. Some people think it's stupid, or say I'm living in a dreamworld, but if they knew what I did to you in my dreams last night, they'd know why I'd rather live in dreams as yours alone than give those fuckers the time of day.

Love,
Dierdre

[People_Are_Dumb_Fuckers]

2005-05-11T23:09:00.000-07:00

I'm over this shit. I seriously am.

Veronica and I'd made plans earlier today to go over to The Velvet Rim after we finished our last class at Art Center. My band L'orangerie Stank just found a new guitar player -- this super cool dude named Tracy, who's going to rip shit up when we start playing (he's better than Robin Finck and Aaron North put together. In other words, hawt) -- and I wanted to hang out and meet some folks because The Rim is where all the good bands play.

So everything's cool, I'm excited because there's this cool new courtyard area that just opened (I started smoking again last week... ugh), I've got my slinky fishnet shirt on with the vinyl pants, and everything's going to be cool, right? Well we show up early and nobody's there, but we get some drinks, which is cool, and then I go up to the balcony part where the whipping post thing is at and fucking Alex is there.

Yeah you, Alex. As Trent would say, "You know who you are" (Head Like a Hole UK Single with the opal remix, fuckers). Or "Don't you fucking know what you are / Get back to where you belong" ("You Know What You Area" from with teeth. Also known as Mr. "It took you to make me realize" (and you should all know that shit's from broken).

Anyway, so there's Alex, in his stupid PiL t-shirt, drinking beers with my other former friend, Pat. And they're just smiling and giggling, and cuddling like a bunch of retards, and they see me and they act like everything's cool. Acting all "whassup" and shit. And the entire time I'm seeing Alex my stomach is just knotted up, like it's on fire with acid or something... I mean I haven't seen him since the K Street party. The whole thing is fucked up.

Seeing them like that is really starting to make me upset, so I go back downstairs and I hear them laughing and kissing and shit behind me. That asshole. So I went to the bar and order a bunch of tequila shots and then Veronica finds me and she doesn't know why I'm so upset... and I try to tell her but she just doesn't get it, and all I know at that point is that I really don't want be there any longer and L'orangerie Stank is never going to play a crowd that's got Alex in it. That's why I kicked him out of the band in the first place. DUH.

Veronica wanted to make out so i kept drinking because I thought that would be cool but I just really wasn't into it so finally I just went home. And now it's early and I'm home and I'm drunk and it's all because of him.

I wish Dierdre were home.

[Dear_Trent_#_2]

2005-05-10T22:18:00.000-07:00

Dear Trent,

Last night I dreamt that you took my dog to the dog park, but you weren't careful, and he got in a fight with a big scary German monstrosity of a pointy-eared monster and was torn to pieces. You were distraught, but I was inconsolable. Despite the death of my beloved dog, it was a nice dream because I can remember your gorgeous hazel eyes brightening with tears, and the texture of your wet cheeks, with just the hint of a beard.

Jesus fucking Christ, Trent, you are so fucking hot.

Anyway, my dog was alive in the morning, so whatevs. After I woke up, though only with great reluctance, I read all about you on MTV.com, and afterwards took a shower during which I thought about your delicious forearms and meaty paws while I was naked.

Love,
Dierdre

[Right_Where_I_Belong]

2005-05-10T18:16:00.000-07:00

see the animal in his cage that you built
are you sure what side you're on
better not look him too closely in the eye
are you sure what side of the glass you are on

These simple lines from the last song on Nine Inch Nail's latest release, With Teeth, echo far beyond the simple letters and words that make up their fragile beauty. I may not be 40 years old like Mr. Reznor is soon going to be (May 17th -- Dierdre and I have a party planned -- don't worry, we'll post some snaps!) but they still penetrate my core in a way that only something of true perfection can.

I often wonder why i feel so alone in this world. At first i wanted to push everyone away -- that's when i first discovered piercing. My friend Victoria and I hitched to L.A. one time, and she got her nostril pierced, which I thought was pretty wicked, but I wanted to go a step further, to make everyone know that I was different. I didn't want them to think "Oh look, there's some guy with a Marilyn Manson t-shirt and some Doc Martens... he's cool." I wanted them to think i was somebody that really meant it.

The eyebrow happened first. Then both ears, the septum, my left nipple (which is still totally hawt for sex). Then came branding and tattoos. Now, I love the full-size NIN logo on my back, and people tell me it's pretty sexy, but maybe I shouldn't have gone so far with the other tattoos. i don't know. it's hard to say.

sometimes i just want to walk into ralph's and have nobody point at me. sometimes i don't want to be Gabriel Of The Shaved Eyebrows With The Facial Piercings. I mean, I know it means I'm tough, and still an individual, but sometimes i think while i may have been so eager to "throw it all away" like trent says, i may have done something else instead. i may have put myself in a cage, like an animal, not knowing what side he's on.

being inside the cage sucks sometimes.

[Words_of_Misery]

2005-05-09T23:28:00.000-07:00

the darkness within her
5_9_05

standing back
from the darkness (within you)
it was never meant to be like
no never meant to be like
no never meant to be like
anything such as this

inside your secret
protected little circle
your safety net
your perfect little circle
of flesh
that i once knew how to condemn

penetrate your sanctity
your purity
your angry fist
across my broken lips
bruised and broken
(bruised and broken)
never then, you never could
be without (now, be without)
this kiss
this loneliness
that you could never stand to be

now what have you done
gossamer hope
strung undone
(not the only one)
what have you done
broken one
bruised, defeated
(not the only one)

but i still cannot let you escape from this
simple silly glimpse of perfection that i once let myself believe in

gilmpse of perfection i once believed in

silly glimpse i once believed in

and now it's just my ashen cigarette glare
and your smile

[Dear_Trent_#_1]

2005-05-09T18:38:00.000-07:00

Can you please tell me how you got to be such a dirty, dirty little bitch? I was driving along in my car, innocently listening to that turgid rage hard-on of a CD, Broken, when your cover of Adam & The Ants Physical came on, and suddenly you went from being totally PO'ed to being a writhing, breathless, gurgling sex beast. At the time, I was driving, and I don't think I have to tell you that it's not clever for a girl to operate heavy machinery while you pant like a rutting animal.

When you recorded that, did you have your hands all up in your junk? Tell us the truth, sparklepants.

Love,
Dierdre

[Maybe_Just_Once]

2005-05-09T18:16:00.000-07:00

words by m.t.reznor

i can't believe
that what i feel is finally happening to me
make it hurt
and point your finger at my insecurity
well i guess I just don't understand
about those complexities in your mind
and i guess i just don't understand
why this world seems so unkind

maybe just once
i'll get what's coming
maybe just once
i'll get what's coming to me

so once again
the way you feel will never ever stay the same
and i'm to blame
i wonder just who made the rules up for this game
well i guess i just don't understand
about what you want and what you need
and i guess i just don't understand about how it has to be

so go ahead
you say those thousand things you think you have to say
look at me
and tell me love's not such a hard word anyway
well how can you count on me
i thought you realized for sure
and how can you just believe
i thought i deserved just a little more.

maybe just once
i'll get what's coming
maybe
maybe just once
i'll get what's coming to me

what's coming to me
what's coming to me
oh god

what's coming to me

[The_Understanding_Teeth_Collection]

2005-05-03T23:25:00.000-07:00

Don't feel like going through the blog lists piece by piece? Here's our handy-dandy guide to understanding nine inch nails's new opus, [With_Teeth].

all the love in the world

you know what you are?

the collector

the hand that feeds

[The_Words_Of_Misery]

2005-04-24T23:47:00.000-07:00

From Gabriel's pen...

the darkness within her

the darkest side of heaven

your glittering gift of glistening amplitude

[Dear_Trent]

2005-04-24T23:39:00.000-07:00

Dierdre's daily missives.

[dear_trent_#_9_the_afterglow_edition]

[dear_trent_#_8]

[dear_trent_#_7]

[dear_trent_#_6]

[dear_trent_#_5]

[dear_trent_#_4]

[dear_trent_#_3]

[dear_trent_#_2]

[dear_trent_#_1]

[Pictures_of_You]

2005-04-24T10:06:00.000-07:00

When does love become an image?

[pictures_of_you_#_1]

[pictures_of_you_#_2]

[redirect_test]

2005-03-03T15:23:00.000-08:00